Cinque

Five years, bro. Five years.

Five years ago I was working away in my office listening to some music when the phone rang. The caller ID let me know that it was my dad, so I picked it up before anyone else in the office answered it. There was just silence on the line. Well, I take that back. There was the thick, stunned silence that happens when one can't speak. My heart jumped, for I thought something was wrong with my dad, the seconds barely ticking by when one is left to imagine the unimaginable. You can probably understand that split second of relief I felt when he finally did get some words out. When he did, bro, though, the words were about your possible departure. Now the thick silence was his and mine to share, our breaths synchronized across the wire in a trembling stutter. Tick, tock.

Tick.

Tock.

The seconds just ticking by. To this day, these seconds still take up eons of memory, but the moments that immediately followed are hollow, the words, emotions and thoughts void of material or breadth. I recall waking up from the void finding myself hearing Bob Dylan's voice singing some song I never knew of that was about the Jack of Hearts. I listened along for a while, knowing that this song would stay with this moment forever. A little while later, blood had returned to my body and I was able to sit up. Looking up the song, I had to sit back down. The album title was just too much for me. Do you know the album? Did you listen to it? It came out in 1975 and a lot of people say that it was one of his best. Shows you what I know. About you or about Dylan.

Five years. A lot's happened since then. Your sis had a beautiful boy named Luke that I am I ashamed to say that I have yet to meet. Karen had a second boy, Eli, and Heather and I have two girls, Talula and Ona. How crazy is that? Yep, it's pretty awesome. We all share stories about you from time to time, expanding your legend. If you think about it, some of these kids may live into the 22nd century and they just might blabble on about this amazing surfer/photographer/cousin that we are all lucky to have known first hand. Of course, my kids will probably talk about how you used to wake me up by farting in my face. So, you've got that to be proud of.

Tick, tock, the clock moves on. The memories, the laughs, the everything keep on keeping on.

Love you cuz.